Let Your Yes Be Yes: Truth Without Leverage


“Honestly, I’m telling you the truth.”

“I swear to God!” “You have my word on it.”

We’ve all heard these expressions. We’ve probably used them ourselves. They’re ways of adding weight to what we’re saying, hoping to convince someone that we’re really sincere or trustworthy.

But why should our words need that extra reinforcement? Shouldn’t they be trustworthy without it?

It’s a question worth considering as we arrive at the fourth of Jesus’ six “You have heard it said…but I say to you” teachings in the Sermon on the Mount. As we’ve discovered in the previous three, Jesus likely had something more in mind than simply improving people’s religious behavior.


What the Torah Said

Jesus began: “Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not break your oath, but fulfill to the Lord the vows you have made.’ But I tell you, do not swear an oath at all.” (Matthew 5:33–34)

Jesus was drawing together several Torah teachings (Leviticus 19:12; Numbers 30:2; Deuteronomy 23:21–23). The instructions were straightforward: Don’t swear falsely by God’s name. If you make a vow, fulfill it. Don’t break your word.

Two Hebrew words help us understand the practice. Neder referred to a vow, usually a promise made to God. Shevu’ahreferred to an oath, often used to affirm the truth of a statement or establish a binding commitment.

We’ve probably all heard a vow resembling, “God, if you’ll just get me through this situation, I promise I’ll…”. Oaths were also common between people. Invoking God’s name added weight to a promise or claim.

Interestingly, the psalmist expressed the practice positively: “I have taken an oath and confirmed it, that I will follow your righteous laws.” (Psalm 119:106)

In a 2022 blog post, I explored the Hebrew word translated as confirmed, which carries the idea of establishing or making something stand.  The psalmist wasn’t looking for a way around his commitment. He was determined to live by it.

The heart of the Torah instruction was simple: Say what you mean and do what you say.

So why did Jesus challenge the practice?


When Keeping Your Word Became Complicated

By Jesus’ day, oath-taking had become considerably more complicated.

Because Jewish people treated God’s name with great reverence, many avoided pronouncing the divine name. Instead, they might swear by heaven, earth, Jerusalem, or other things closely associated with God.  We might call these God-adjacent.

Distinctions developed regarding which oaths were binding and which were not. Jesus later criticized religious leaders who distinguished between swearing by the temple and swearing by the gold in the temple, or by the altar and the gift on the altar (Matthew 23:16–22).

Apparently, some oaths counted more than others.

Think about what had happened. A teaching intended to encourage truthfulness had become a system for determining which promises absolutely had to be kept.  Instead of asking, “Is my word trustworthy?” people could debate, “Was the particular oath I made technically binding?”

Jesus wasn’t interested in improving the system. He challenged the thinking behind it.


But I Say to You…

Jesus continued by telling his listeners not to swear by heaven, God’s throne; by earth, his footstool; or by Jerusalem, the city of the great King. He even included swearing by one’s own head, pointing out that we cannot make a single hair white or black (Don’t I know that!).

His point? Everything belongs to God. No clever wording creates a loophole.

Then Jesus offered a remarkably simple alternative: “All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” (Matthew 5:37)

Jesus was describing a way of living in which our ordinary words could be trusted without special reinforcement.

But I wonder if there’s more going on here than simply being honest.

When Words Become Leverage

Dallas Willard, in The Divine Conspiracy, offered an insightful perspective on this passage. He suggested that invoking something greater than ourselves, especially God, can become a way of making our words seem more significant or authoritative.

The intent isn’t necessarily to communicate truth. It can be to persuade others to accept our position or do what we want.  Then…

Our words can become instruments of manipulation.

Consider an expression familiar in Christian circles: “God told me…”. I certainly believe God guides people. We can develop convictions through prayer, Scripture, wise counsel, and attentiveness to the Spirit.

But consider the difference between these two statements: “I believe God may be leading me in this direction” and “God told me this is what we need to do.”  The first invites conversation, discernment, and even disagreement.

The second can effectively end the conversation.  After all, who wants to argue with God?  When we invoke God’s authority to strengthen our position, disagreeing with us can begin to feel like disagreeing with God.

We’ve played the God card.

Suddenly, we’re not merely sharing a conviction. We’re using God’s authority to give our position an advantage it might not otherwise have.  Are we inviting someone to consider what we’re saying? Or are we making it difficult for them to disagree?


Truthfulness Is Not Always Trustworthiness

Jesus concluded by saying that anything beyond a simple yes or no comes from tou ponērou, an expression that can mean “evil” or “the evil one.”

That language may remind us of the serpent in Genesis 3. The serpent used words to question and distort what God had said, influencing how the woman understood God and the choice before her.

Manipulation often works that way. And it doesn’t always require an outright lie.  We can selectively present truthful statements, exaggerate our certainty, or invoke our authority to discourage disagreement. We can tell the truth and still use it to manipulate someone.

Throughout the six “you have heard it said…” examples, Jesus was describing a greater righteousness – a way of doing right by God and others that went beyond merely satisfying the requirements of the Torah. He had already challenged his listeners to consider how their anger, contempt, desires, and decisions affected others.

Now he was asking them to consider what their words were doing to people.


Truth Without Leverage

We tend to read Matthew 5:33–37 as a teaching about honesty and keeping our promises. Certainly, those things matter.

But maybe Jesus was asking something more: Why do I need to add something to my words in order to make you believe me – or do what I want?

Jesus was describing life in God’s kingdom, where relationships are shaped by truthfulness, trust, and genuine concern for others’ dignity. In that kingdom, my words aren’t tools for getting my way. They’re part of how I love and honor the person listening.

The opposite of manipulation isn’t merely telling the truth. It is telling the truth without using it as leverage.

Let Your “Yes” be “Yes”

Ihave recently had opportunities to listen to and speak with young parents within my sphere of influence about their struggles. As I reflect back on our own parenting experiences, I am grateful for a couple of encouragements that served us well. The first came from the late Howard Hendricks, who encouraged parents to have very few rules, and that the few should focus on things like respect for self and others. Many rules, he suggested, require time and effort to enforce, drawing parental attention away from the “meatier” role of parenting (like character development).

A second helpful parental admonition came from a few different sources and was something like, “Let your yes be yes and your no be no,” especially in the moment. Attempts to overexplain decisions often go south. If you are a parent, you know what I mean. Sometimes we just need our kids to trust us. Hmmm – sounds like something God might say, too.

Both admonitions point to the intentionality behind steadfast parenting.

As stated in previous blog postings, I have been in the habit of spending daily time with God reading through the Psalms – a 25-year habit (see Fore-Edge Paintings). For the past few weeks, I have been immersed in Psalm 119, the long one focused on the psalmist’s love for God’s word, precepts, and statutes. The psalm is written acrostically, 7-8 verse stanzas for each of the 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet. This week I read from the stanza associated with the letter Nun (נ):

Your word is a lamp for my feet,
    a light on my path.
I have taken an oath and confirmed it,
    that I will follow your righteous laws. (Ps. 119:105-6, NIV)

The first verse brought back memories of a classic old song based on the passage. What caught my attention was the beginning of the second verse: “I have taken an oath and confirmed it.” The wonderment that caused me to pause: “How and what does it mean to confirm an oath?” On the surface, the answer seems quite straightforward, even black and white. One either took an oath, or they didn’t. The question kept ruminating in my mind. Maybe there was more to it…

What IS an oath? My dictionary says an oath is a solemn promise, often invoking a divine witness, regarding one’s future action or behavior. By this definition, the psalmist was making a solemn promise to God to follow his righteous laws (precepts, statutes, or judgments, depending on the biblical translation). The Hebrew word used here for oath is shâba‛ (שָׁבַע), which literally means “to seven oneself.”

A common practice in Hebrew antiquity was to make seven declarations when making an oath. This could mean making the oath seven times or doing seven things to show the sincerity of the oath (i.e., seven sacrifices). Keep in mind that the number “seven” was sacred in Jewish tradition, signifying that they took their oaths quite seriously.

But what does it mean to confirm one’s oath? I would think that declaring the oath seven times would be confirmation enough. Diving a little deeper into the text, we find the root Hebrew word for confirm to be qûm (קוּם), which suggests the psalmist was steadfastly purposed to fulfill the oath. Steadfastly purposed would lead me to believe there was intentionality associated with the oath – intentionality in following God’s law.

Over time, oath-making had gotten a little out of hand. When Jesus arrived on the scene, the religious leaders and their lawyers had turned “oathing” into something that served them well. They had invented a system of traditions laced with loopholes. They took the position that they were required to be truthful only when they made an oath. Oaths were commonly sworn in such a manner that unless the name of God was specifically mentioned in the oath, it wasn’t binding (first-century fine print!). Thus, lengthy arguments and debates ensued over whether an oath was binding. It seems like a pretty significant departure from the psalmist’s intentionality to follow God’s laws.

It was such a departure that Jesus addressed oath-making in his discourse we know as the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7). Employing his oft-used “You have heard it said, but I say to you” formula, Jesus negated the use of oaths…

But I say, do not make any vows [or oaths]! … Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one. (Matt. 5:34-37, NLT)*

What Jesus was saying was profound and simple. Cultural Judaism and traditions were focused on oaths, promises, and rules. They spent their time and energy either keeping their oaths, promises, and rules or developing workarounds to suit their needs. God was left out of the equation. Thus, his rebuke of their tradition-focused behavior in which they neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. (Matthew 23:23)

It’s an easy trap to fall into. In wanting to live an exemplary Christian life, we can easily be drawn to cultural Christian traditions that focus on what and how and end up neglecting the weightier matters (the why) of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. It requires intentionality.

* Some translations read (and the Greek affirms), “Let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no.'” This must have resonated with Jesus’ own brother, James. He reiterated the thought in his epistle. See James 5:12