Gratitude

JFK, Mr. Zabee, and Mr. Briggs

November 22, 2023

Sixty years ago today, President John F. Kennedy (JFK) was assassinated in Dallas, TX. I am in that category of people who remember the event well, who can say, “I remember exactly what I was doing when I heard the news.”

I was in Mr. Brigg’s fifth-hour, eighth-grade woodshop at Elk River Junior High School. It was the end of the class period. We were cleaning up the shop. I was about to put away the “showman’s box” that I designed and was building for use in storing gear for showing dairy cattle at fairs. As we were cleaning up the shop our principal, George Zabee, made the announcement that JFK had been shot and later died in the hospital. I remember that his voice cracked a bit as he made the announcement. I could tell he was audibly shaken (similar to Walter Cronkite’s visible reaction on TV that day).

As I pondered the events of 60 years ago, experiences with Mr. Briggs and Mr. Zabee came flooding back. Both played significant roles in my early teen development…

Mr. Briggs was my math and shop teacher that year. He made the beginnings of algebra and geometry fun, leaving us wanting more. He taught inductively (though I had no idea what that meant as an eighth-grader!). He took us on field trips to watch the progress he was making on the house he was building down by the river. I remember estimating the height of a flagpole, and discovering how to use trigonometry before we even knew what trigonometry was. He always had a puzzle of the week written on the board which taught us to work together and think critically.

Looking back, I think Mr. Briggs may have played a significant role in my interest in becoming a structural engineer. I also suspect he played a major role in the way I have been able to tutor high school students over the years, employing an inductive approach unbeknownst. As a shop teacher he steathfully integrated what we were learning in math. He piqued my interest in woodworking which is my occupation of leisure these days.

I am grateful for Mr. Briggs and the significant role he played in my life.

As I thought about Mr. Zabee this morning, similar feelings of gratitude surfaced. Mr. Zabee was my principal for six years – he followed my class to the high school when the incumbent principal retired. He was a big man – his very presence commanded respect. He grew up on a farm and took an interest in my farm experiences. Though one who wielded authority, we all knew that he cared about us and our well-being. So I wasn’t overly surprised to hear his voice tremble as he announced JFK’s assassination. (Something that occurred to me this morning: Mr Zabee was Catholic as was JFK. I remember that it was a big deal that the United States elected a Catholic, so Mr. Zabee might have been mourning more than the loss of his president).

I have so many stories I could share about Mr. Zabee, but this is the one that stood out the most to me as I pondered about November 22, 1963: Mr. Zabee met with a group of about 15 of us eighth graders weekly for 6-8 weeks. It was a “learning how to learn” experiment. I remember us doing exercises in observation and learning to “read between the lines.” Looking back I realize he was teaching us critical thinking skills. I suspect he played a major role in helping me become a more critical thinker. I suspect he also played a major role in the way I get to help young people today learn to think critically. I also suspect he played a major role in my becoming a life-long learner.

I am grateful for Mr. Zabee and the significant role he played in my life.

Several years ago at the suggestion of our pastor (based on Romans 16:3-15), I created a list of 26 people for whom I had an affinity, people who significantly impacted my life and faith. You can read about it in the post My 26. After the “My 26” exercise two years ago, I continued an ongoing list of people for whom I am grateful. That list continues to grow as God brings people to mind.

Mr. Zabee and Mr. Briggs made my list this morning.

This is Thanksgiving week in the United States. In keeping with the sentiment of Thanksgiving, it would be fitting to ponder and cherish the memories of those from our past who played caring and impactful roles in our lives. And maybe even start a “Gratitude List” and watch it grow over the years.

Thanksgiving 2022

A couple of years ago while meeting with my high school Young Life Campaigner (Bible study) group, we had the obligatory conversation about thankfulness, given that it was the Monday of Thanksgiving week here in America.

In the United States, the Thanksgiving holiday is a bit of a myth that came to the fore during the Civil War when President Abraham Lincoln, to foster unity, declared it a national holiday. I am aware that other countries have also set aside annual days to be thankful. Days set aside for thanksgiving are centuries-old, though feasting is a newer phenomenon. In centuries past, days of thanksgiving involved fasting, prayer, and supplication* to God. It reminds us of the Apostle Paul’s admonition in his letter to the Philippians…

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7, ESV).

During the conversation with the Campaigner guys, I asked if there was a difference between thankfulness and gratitude. In our initial responses, we thought the words basically meant the same and were interchangeable. Those who know me well would not be surprised to know that I sent them to their devices to look up the definitions of the two terms. We discovered something pretty interesting…

Thankfulness is an adjective and Gratitude is a noun.

To my English teacher friends, the significance of this distinction is not missed. The rest of us may need to dig a bit deeper. Being thankful is about being pleased and relieved, an adjective that describes how we feel. Gratitude, on the other hand, is the quality of being thankful coupled with a readiness to show appreciation and return kindness. Gratitude is about our character.

With my Campaigner guys, we developed an analogy that helped us make sense of the distinction between thankfulness and gratitude: I get the results of a difficult math test and my grade is better than anticipated, for which I am thankful! Gratitude, on the other hand, would be displayed when I connect with my teacher to show appreciation for the extra help she gave me. Thankfulness is more inward; Gratitude is outward. Thankfulness is more of a spontaneous response; gratitude, as with all character-building endeavors, takes time, effort, and intentionality, to which my wife, Barb, alluded in a FaceBook post a few years ago:

A couple years ago I decided to focus on the word gratitude. At first I just put copies of the word “gratitude” in places I would see throughout the day. After awhile the word became part of my daily thoughts. I would encourage anyone who desires to see life through a better lens to try this, I feel like it changed me for the better.

Have a Blessed Thanksgiving!

* Supplication is not a word we use much in our daily conversations. It basically means asking, even begging, for something with earnestness and humility.

Thanksgiving 2021

This is Thanksgiving week in the United States. In the last post (My 26), I referred to gratitude as a quintessential Christian virtue – a good lead-in to this holiday week. As I pondered what I might post this week, I was drawn to review what I posted a year ago. After reading it, I decided it was worthy of re-reading – enough that I would encourage others to do the same.

You can read the post, Thankfulness and Gratitude, here. Have a blessed week!

Thankfulness and Gratitude

During my high school Young Life Campaigner (Bible study) group’s Zoom call Monday night, we had the obligatory conversation about thankfulness, given that this is Thanksgiving week here in America.

In the United States, the Thanksgiving holiday is a bit of a myth which came to the fore during the Civil War when President Abraham Lincoln, to foster unity, declared it as a national holiday. I am aware that other countries have also set aside annual days to be thankful. Days set aside for thanksgiving are centuries-old, though feasting is a newer phenomenon. In centuries past, days of thanksgiving involved fasting, prayer and supplication* to God. It reminds us of the Apostle Paul’s admonition in his letter to the Philippians…

During our Zoom call on Monday night, I asked if there was a difference between thankfulness and gratitude. In our initial responses we thought the words basically meant the same and were interchangeable. Those who know me well will not be surprised to know that I sent them to their devices to look up the definition of the two terms. We discovered something pretty interesting…

Thankfulness is an adjective and Gratitude is a noun.

To my English teacher friends, the significance of this distinction isn’t missed. The rest of us may need to dig a bit deeper. Being thankful is about being pleased and relieved, an adjective that describes how we feel. Gratitude, on the other hand is the quality of being thankful coupled with a readiness to show appreciation and return kindness. Gratitude is about our character.

With my Campaigner guys, we developed an analogy that helped us make sense of the distinction between thankfulness and gratitude: I get the results of a difficult math test, and my grade is better than anticipated, for which I am thankful! Gratitude, on the other hand, would be displayed when I connect with my teacher to show appreciation for the extra help she gave me. Thankfulness is more inward; Gratitude is outward. Thankfulness is more of a spontaneous response; gratitude, as with all character-building, takes time, effort, and intentionality, to which my wife, Barb, alluded in a Facebook post this week:

A couple years ago I decided to focus on the word gratitude. At first I just put copies of the word “gratitude” in places I would see throughout the day. After awhile the word became part of my daily thoughts. I would encourage anyone who desires to see life through a better lens to try this, I feel like it changed me for the better.

Have a Blessed Thanksgiving!

* Supplication is not a word we use much these days. It means asking, even begging, for something with earnestness and humility.

The core of the Young Life ministry, of which I have been a part going on 47 years, is the volunteer leaders that invest in the lives of teenagers. I am privileged to help train younger staff that lead the volunteer troops. Several years ago, while in a discussion during a training time, we deliberated the make-up of the best leaders. We decided that what separated best leaders from average leaders was this: they get “it.” As the discussion progressed, we attempted to quantify and define “it.” This is where we landed:

“If someone gets “it,” no definition is necessary; for those who don’t, no definition will suffice.”

In the context of practical theology, I suspect this is a truism that crosses all aspects of faith understanding. I suspect it was central to Jesus’ repetitive quote from Isaiah 6 addressing the Israelites – people that kept on listening, without perceiving; that keep on looking, without understanding. I think this describes our journeys of faith as we try to figure out this phenomenon of following Jesus. We wrestle with an aspect of faith for a time – reading, researching, discussing – seemingly to no avail. Then, all of a sudden, something happens and it makes sense. We get it. We cannot explain it yet – we just know we get it now and we see everything through a new lens…

We hear two distinctly different responses during this pandemic – gratitude or censure/blame. Gratitude* is a core virtue of the Christian life. It’s one of those things I didn’t get for years, but became clear in the middle of a personal crisis. I finally got it, though I couldn’t have explained it to anyone for a time. But I knew it was a life-changer.

From the New Oxford American Dictionary, gratitude describes the quality of being thankful and readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. During these days, grateful people are coming out of the woodwork to serve others, even the ungrateful. Grateful people get it. They don’t need to work at showing gratitude, its second nature.

One of the best books I’ve ever read was Brennan Manning’s Ruthless Trust (a book I HIGHLY recommend). In Ruthless Trust, Manning described how he might determine if someone truly trusts God:

Let’s say I interviewed ten people and asked them each the same question – “Do you trust God?” – and each answered “Yes, I trust God,” but nine out of ten actually did not trust him. How would I find out which was telling the truth? I would videotape each of the ten lives for a month and then, after watching the videos, pass judgment using this criterion: The person with an abiding spirit of gratitude is the one who trusts God (my emphasis).

During his message on Sunday, April 26, Bjorn Dixon of the WHY Church (Elk River, MN) made an interesting and telling statement: “What you thought about God before the pandemic is how you will relate to God in a pandemic.” If gratitude was core to my trust in God before the pandemic, then gratitude is the natural response during the pandemic. For those of us struggling to be grateful right now, here’s the very good news: God uses interruptions and crises to transform us, to help us get “it” (whatever “it” we might be in need of “getting”). I have observed people “get” the virtue of gratitude these last few weeks. Others will get it before this is over. If you aren’t there yet, there’s hope.

“God is the creator, redeemer, and consummator of all that is. Human beings live in a relation of inescapable dependence on God to which gratitude is the appropriate response.” (Miroslav Volf, “Practicing Theology: Beliefs and Practices in the Christian Life”, my emphasis).

* Interestingly, the Greek word used in the New Testament and translated as gratitude is eucharistía, the same word from which Eucharist is derived. (See Colossians 2:6-7, 1 Timothy 4:4-5, Hebrews 12:28 as examples of gratitude used in the New Testament.)